@JoshRollins
Try enjoying the ride instead of expecting the end.

Maybe she'll change her mind, maybe she'll find someone to be monogamous with and have to say goodbye, but your anxiety about either potential outcome is irrelevant.

You made a connection, appreciate it for what it is today. :hug:

@poly_pockets
it's on my queue... as are about 50 other things...

@Babygirl20
I think our only "need to knows" are:

"take care of self"
and
"don't be mean"

Welcome!

@JoshRollins
almost never anymore. I quit the traveling job so I don't get around the country nearly as much as I used to. I'm pretty happy to be building my home and family in the Pacific Northwest

@JoshRollins

@poly_pockets

I noticed most other mastodons have their own apps... not something I've ever built but we may have to do just that to really get what we want. :(

@poly_pockets
Yes this, so much this.

I'm not solo poly by chance, I just happened to find myself while I was alone for a while, and I've cherished that relationship ever since.

Also, if you need help collecting data, consider me a volunteer, I have a Master's in that now (maybe I do: waiting on thesis review for another couple weeks)

@Maggieb
Intentionally creating distance in general while still holding outo the most important pieces is how I overcame this type of jealousy. It wasn't easy, but lots of communication and focusing on the most important parts of our relationship allowed me to grow and our bond to solidify into something better.

I had to become a complete, stand alone individual before I could stop feeling alone when my partner left for another. Been maried a decade now, and we've never been happier.

@Maggieb
I don't know you well yet, but I can tell you my story of a similar hardship.

I used to use the term "sharing" and thought the same way, that I was using it to describe time, but I was actually using it to describe a level of attention I thought I was losing out on. The difference is hardly noticable, but when I look back on it I realize I had become cognitively codependent, I had a hard time describing myself as an individual.

@Maggieb
Welcome!

The best advise I can share is to 1: stop thinking of it as "sharing" and 2: stay occupied when your partner is out an you are not. Social events, gym, friends, work, hobbies, hell even an immersive video game. That way you don't dwell and start an emotional feedback loop (yeah I've been guilty of that).

And hey, you're not alone :hug:

@JoshRollins
Poly people seem to understand immediately. Other people I just explain that I don't limit where a relationship will naturally grow. Generally people appreciate that. (Though PDX is much different than NYC)

@JoshRollins
That's been the same term I use, it's the easiest label I could come up with.

@poly_pockets
I feel ya on this one

Went on a date/hike with a geologist to avoid working on my thesis last weekend...

@poly_pockets
Lol nope, they mentioned all different poly groups from the few I know. I've heard of them before, but saying 30% of Portland is at least open to ENM would probably be a notable underestimate. Hell probably 30% would admit to being "at least a little bi"!

Portland=poly town, no doubt about it!

@poly_pockets

This part:

"most of the people I spoke with agree that the City of Roses has a reputation as the most non-monogamy-friendly place in the Pacific Northwest."

It's a reminder of just how lucky I was to have coincidentally been born and raised here, even if it took 25 years to hear the word polyamory for the first time.

This article does seem more happy than most so I like it for that

On this day-ish about a year ago, polyamory.social came into existance.

Boy has my life changed in that amount of time, I went from needing a poly support group so badly that I made my own, to hardly having time for social media at all.

There'll always be ups and downs in life, but as long as you hang on for the ride it'll all be worth the effort.

Happy anniversary to my very extended poly family, you! :IH:

@Iam
You can do either based on the "visibility" option of each message. You can change each message individually to be just poly people, all connections (called federation), just your followers, or just individuals you have mentioned using an @ symbol

Default is for your toots(tweets) to go out to all of polyamory.social.

My family just grew by one tiny human!

My wife is amazing, my meta is awesome and will be a great dad, and my mom doesn't care about the specifics because she's finally a grandma.

Life is good

@polychrome
They're a burning man group that go to several festivals in the Pacific NW. They do polyamory workshops and education and are generally awesome people 😀

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