Intentionally creating distance in general while still holding outo the most important pieces is how I overcame this type of jealousy. It wasn't easy, but lots of communication and focusing on the most important parts of our relationship allowed me to grow and our bond to solidify into something better.

I had to become a complete, stand alone individual before I could stop feeling alone when my partner left for another. Been maried a decade now, and we've never been happier.

I don't know you well yet, but I can tell you my story of a similar hardship.

I used to use the term "sharing" and thought the same way, that I was using it to describe time, but I was actually using it to describe a level of attention I thought I was losing out on. The difference is hardly noticable, but when I look back on it I realize I had become cognitively codependent, I had a hard time describing myself as an individual.


The best advise I can share is to 1: stop thinking of it as "sharing" and 2: stay occupied when your partner is out an you are not. Social events, gym, friends, work, hobbies, hell even an immersive video game. That way you don't dwell and start an emotional feedback loop (yeah I've been guilty of that).

And hey, you're not alone :hug:

Poly people seem to understand immediately. Other people I just explain that I don't limit where a relationship will naturally grow. Generally people appreciate that. (Though PDX is much different than NYC)

That's been the same term I use, it's the easiest label I could come up with.

I feel ya on this one

Went on a date/hike with a geologist to avoid working on my thesis last weekend...

Lol nope, they mentioned all different poly groups from the few I know. I've heard of them before, but saying 30% of Portland is at least open to ENM would probably be a notable underestimate. Hell probably 30% would admit to being "at least a little bi"!

Portland=poly town, no doubt about it!


This part:

"most of the people I spoke with agree that the City of Roses has a reputation as the most non-monogamy-friendly place in the Pacific Northwest."

It's a reminder of just how lucky I was to have coincidentally been born and raised here, even if it took 25 years to hear the word polyamory for the first time.

This article does seem more happy than most so I like it for that

On this day-ish about a year ago, polyamory.social came into existance.

Boy has my life changed in that amount of time, I went from needing a poly support group so badly that I made my own, to hardly having time for social media at all.

There'll always be ups and downs in life, but as long as you hang on for the ride it'll all be worth the effort.

Happy anniversary to my very extended poly family, you! :IH:

You can do either based on the "visibility" option of each message. You can change each message individually to be just poly people, all connections (called federation), just your followers, or just individuals you have mentioned using an @ symbol

Default is for your toots(tweets) to go out to all of polyamory.social.

My family just grew by one tiny human!

My wife is amazing, my meta is awesome and will be a great dad, and my mom doesn't care about the specifics because she's finally a grandma.

Life is good

They're a burning man group that go to several festivals in the Pacific NW. They do polyamory workshops and education and are generally awesome people 😀

Luckily I learned at a young age that people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind. You're right that it hasn't always been easy, and for a long time I thought I was broken, and I didn't even know polyamory was a word until I was almost 30, but I've always been honest and that's why I'm still friendly with so many ex's.

Knowing others like me exist has been a life changing discovery, you have no idea how much I appreciate you, just for being you.

It WAS an awesome time and it WAS minus a phone 🤣 (get it?) but there were so many great people I'll be going again next year for sure! I didn't even miss any pics because so many people took so many others that I really dont feel like I missed anything.

Went to SHIFT festival over the weekend. Lost a phone, but gained dozens of new friends! Polychrome had a camp there too, so happy to see poly people in the wild! 😍

For me it's an orientation. I'm not monogamous, and that's just how I am, so I don't pretend to be anything else. My first relationship in high school was with a girl who had another boyfriend from her last school and I've just never "got" the whole possessiveness thing. I don't know why people do that. Just like being bi, I don't understand the discounting of half the people on the planet purely based on genetics. If I'm attracted, I'll say something.

I'm basically a dog with responsibilities, so pup pics are welcone to me!

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