Follow

Morning... Kind off, still sleepy.

Here's a q. Do you ever stop looking for more new potential partners? If so, when? And when looking back, what are the things you found your looking for? Ever surprised yourself?

And with this light questions, I'm going back to nap..

@JoshRollins I spend a lot of time on graduate school obligations - internship, research, dissertation - so I don't have a ton of time and energy for multiple relationships. This might change for me in the future, but for now I feel polysaturated with my husband and other partner. I'm not actively looking for new connections.

@poly_pockets and when you do, what does it seem like you keep getting back to? Or does it change?

@JoshRollins well, I don't have enough experience to have identified a pattern. I think the number one thing I look for in a potential partner is someone who listens to my point of view and demonstrates overall respect for me and my bodily autonomy. The guy I'm seeing now, I had met him at parties a few times and thought that he was funny, attractive, and easy to talk to, but I didn't give him a second thought until he asked me about the movement and really listened to what I had to say.

@JoshRollins
I've looked off and on, but mostly off these past few years because I had gone back to school, so no time, and then I was happy being lazy, and now I'm spending a lot of free time on my art.

Past experience tells me I subconsciously seek out nerdy women named Stephanie. 😜

@JoshRollins I only found relationships when I stopped looking, and they always tend to come all at once, and I never turn away a possible relationship if that's where a friendship is going... so I guess my answer is ...no? I think. I never stop looking, and I try not to specifically seek out, and when I'm not expecting it they come all at once.

@JoshRollins I’m unsaturated so I’m always open but I’m not going out and approaching people. Not a big fan of online dating either. I used to be more about casual hookups and fwbs but now I’m into committed relationships too which I never really thought would appeal to me.

@JoshRollins I have stopped, a year or two ago.

Also for myself set an intent to not be physical with anyone new I meet, for at least 6 months - to see if there's a connection/friendship beyond "warm and fuzzy" feelings.

I enjoy this slow regard for another. It breathes easier for me.

@weft hmm. 6 months sounds a lot to me, but I can appreciate what it probably can entail.

@JoshRollins I am probably at heart more suited to polyfi/monogamish, but currently the only relationship I'm in is with a non-nesting partner, and I would like (at least one) nesting partner. If I find that then I'm very likely to stop looking, at least for a while.

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Mastodon

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!