@poly_pockets ah I see. No, the "which is why I lie" was meant from her perspective. She thought I was lying because I'm scared of commitment.
@poly_pockets so yes, non monogamy always comes up before dating usually, as it did here - she just thought I'm lying about it :/
@poly_pockets did I say that I lie? Where, maybe a typo...? I was exhausted and on the bus when typing. I'm going to look it over.
She said I'm a liar as a tease (sounds bad but it wasn't). I thought she means my religious practice and what she thought I'm lying about was my non-monogamy. I Wrote about it in length this morning here: https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/d5ey53/a_big_misunderstanding_or_why_you_want_to_be/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
(It explains better)
To your question... I say I'm non-monogamous. It usually comes up when dating, or I bring it up myself.
I didn't want to rub my partners in her face, I usually don't bring partners up unless people ask about them ( and even then, it's private) because I'm dating for myself, it's not about them.
But I guess saying "non-monogamous" is not good enough. I need to provide a link to poly on Wikipedia, and ask 3 times if they are ok with poly like it's done sort of a medical condition. Disgusting.
And she thought me changing profile under "looking for" from blank to "relationship" was part of my game... Eww. I feel dirty. Afraid of commitment? Not looking for something serious? He must be a scared little boy... Eeww!!
Just had the most epic facepalm-date ever.
Came to see her for a drink after talking for 2 days non-stop. She's all cheeky and cute thinks I'm a liar and afraid of commitment (which is why I lie) when my profile said non-monogamous first line.
She said she didn't like to share but that was it. Never asked me about my apartment or my situation etc. I get it that i could be more clear... But seriously? Came cross town and she's all jaw to the floor "think you should go". Wow.
@poly_pockets thanks, good to hear from folks I know here. Interesting philosophy about how to use labels... Didn't think of it this way.
So... Been away for a while.
Dating scene in NYC for me is border line non existent. Might be too selective but I don't think so.
I changed my definition of poly to non-monogamy. I feel there are too many questions once I do meet someone poly, and identifying myself and my relationship AND what I'm looking for each time is nuts (all three can be different). Decided I'm probably leaning toward relationship anarchist. Feels like ot makes sense.
To all blind Android users: The #Tusky Mastodon client has been updated to version 6.0 and brings a big step forward in usability with TalkBack. Toots in most timelines are now single entities, and they have actions for replying, boosting, accessing profiles, links and other tapable items within a toot. This means that going from toot to toot only takes one swipe now instead of 5 to sometimes more than 10 in previous versions. Happy tooting!
Good date last night, someone married and open who is deeply involved with books (always a plus!) with a healthy flair of kink.
We talked about New York and why we prefer the US over our original countries... I wonder if she realized her being there and us on a date is a huge reason for that in itself :)
I've been actively poly for about a decade. I'm a "retired" BDSM guy, a professional geek, and I tend to ramble. Also mod :)
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