At this time husband is open to the idea of swinging. He's open to sex with other people as long as we're both participating at the same time. He equates polyamory with sex more than with love, and is not open to me having one-on-one time with another romantic partner. His idea of being open doesn't appeal to me at all, because I need to feel connected to want to have sex with someone.

Trying to figure out how to meet both my needs and his. Feeling discouraged.

@MsMcLuxe I am in a very similar situation, except that husband had been expressing his interest in swinging for years. I very recently said that if he wanted to open up our marriage, poly was the way it felt most comfortable to me. We decided to do it my way, at least for now. He was initially thrilled but we have found that the emotional component is really difficult for him to cope with. After a very rocky start, we seem to be evening out but it's still complicated and really hard at times.

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