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I'm having a challenging poly day. My husband is upset about a mistake I made with my other partner yesterday. I'm trying to give him the space to process and tell me what he needs but I'm also all emotionally wrapped up in the situation myself.

Not necessarily looking to process the issue right now; I know that with clear communication, love, respect, and honesty we'll get to the other side of it. It feels like a bit of a roller coaster right now, though.

@poly_pockets I know this feeling a bit too well and it makes me want to invent an "internet hugs" emoji.

Until then: *hugs*

@Jerrik I love the emoji!! Thanks for the hugs, a supportive community when dealing with this stuff is so important

@sagebrush thank you!! Heading out for a late lunch after a very cuddly morning with the husband, so things are definitely feeling better.

We're pretty new at this, and it's a great feeling to know that we can restabilize after a rocky moment. Something similar a couple months ago would have sent us reeling for a long time.

@poly_pockets also sending *hugs* and understand the roller coaster having been on a huge one the last couple of weeks. Poly is sometimes crazy hard.

@kalliope So. True. I hope your roller coaster ride calms down soon. Sometimes I still wonder if it's all worth it. I know my husband isn't convinced yet. But I really do believe that once we get through the initial set of speedbumps, the road will be smooth(er). I know poly is always work, and I'll only get out what I put in.

@poly_pockets yeah I'm not sure atm, my only formal partner (not primary though, he's SP/RA) I think might find some of my inflexibilities in some areas deal breakers now... we have coasted for a while as while he's known of triggers, they hadn't been, well, triggered! Now the triggers *have* been triggered, there's a big question mark over everything.

@kalliope ugh, that kind of uncertainty is really uncomfortable. It's good that all the triggers we're discussed ahead of time but sometimes you don't know how things will actually play out until they do. Hopefully he can respect your needs, as a relationship anarchist he ought to be able to manage clearly communicated boundaries.

you'd think, right?? That's actually the core issue atm, he broke a privacy boundary that I thought was implicit in some of our earlier discussion, like I didn't think I needed to spell something out because I thought he understood basic principles around privacy and consent. Turns out he didn't, and shared some private information of mine with another person in his life without my consent. I still can't even understand how we could be on such completely different pages about this stuff.

@kalliope that is so frustrating, when something takes you by surprise and makes you think differently about the whole relationship! Sorry you're dealing with all that, no matter what the outcome I hope you get it all figured out soon

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