@Jerrik i had a very rough go. Unemployed, split from my nesting partner, moved twice. I'm surviving still in Brooklyn, and in an ok emotional place heading into a lonely winter. How are you?

With multiple partners across the city, there is a lot.running through my mind right now. Social and community events are pretty much universally cancelled, and if I'm feeling this isolated/stir crazy NOW, where the hell am I going to be in a week?

Show thread

Can we start a COVID 19 support thread? I'm in NYC. The(widely accepted) rumor is that we are going full containment, Italy-style, soon. Time to start panicking yet?

I'm usually a very logical, action-oriented person but the heat is rising and the people in my network I reach out to for support are also getting to that shift, panicky place.

I know that I'll probably get it and maybe be uncomfortable for a bit, but I'm more worried about the social breakdowns that happen when a city shuts down.

@Jerrik

Ha! Yea, I was a little skeptical of a cuddle party that didn't turn into anything else... still sounds quite lovely!

@Jerrik

Was it purely nonsexual cuddling? Was there a makeout component? I've been to very pg-13 makeout parties but just cuddling seems more intimate and cozy and lovely!

@JoshRollins

And lastly, as an add on, I'm glad she showed you who she was before you invested any more of yourself in the relationship. People suck, rejection hurts, and also you dodged a bullet. I hope you've allowed yourself as much self-care as you need to help build you back up.

@JoshRollins

Rejection in any form is universally uncomfortable and it seems especially destabilizing when you are putting so much of your own happiness on the line. For your sake, I hope you can find a way to be vulnerable enough to find what you're looking for without continually bearing such deep and painful scars from early rejection.

@JoshRollins

That must suck, I know these kind of messy mixups/fade outs happen frequently early on. Most of my online connections end this way, and maybe only 2 have worked out in any longer term way - and that's over years of online dating. People are messy, and it seems really painful for you to go emotionally all in so quickly. I hope you read this as coming from a place of compassion. (Cont'd below)

@JoshRollins

You sound really upset, I'm sorry you were let down so badly. Had you guys seen each other at all or did she end up ghosting before date 1?

I only ask because it seems like things like this - miscommunications early in the building of a potential relationship - seem to spin you out super intensely (I'm inferring from this and a couple other of your posts). (Cont'd below)

@BlindBunny

Good luck to you! Are you starting from a solo poly place or do you have a partner with whom you're hoping to find a third?

Oof. This is a bad one -

cnn.com/2020/01/28/health/poly

It starts out alright, even though they do a poor job of acknowledging that one person in a relationship can date others independently or that solo poly exists at all. And then, out of nowhere, a couple paragraphs about how poly almost always destroys marriages, before it goes back to a generally non-offensive stuff. It really feels like some editor with feelings demanded they wedge that in. I guess I shouldn't expect much from CNN.

Hey poly people! Any relationship-related resolutions for 2020?

We all know the importance of honest and forthright communication. In 2020 I'm working to be better at knowing what I want so that I may communicate it clearly, as well as respectfully request the same from partners.

@Jerrik

yea... I'm sure you have better shows queued up. I liked Easy but it wasn't super compelling. The open/poly arcs were interesting; I was wondering how others felt about the how conflicts were presented and resolved in those arcs.

@JoshRollins

Yea. That sounds complicated. Can you be comfortable enjoying the journey if it does eventually end the way you fear it will?

@Babygirl20

Welcome! I think my ground rules are - always be clear about what you want, need, and expect and only engage with people who do the same.

Has anyone else watched Easy on Netflix? Thoughts on the nonmonog/poly story arcs? There are a couple.

@Jerrik @JoshRollins that's totally beyond me, but my concern is that we don't have a very big community here and we may lose people if there is a whole separate app. I'm all for doing whatever is going to get more people here. Maybe we would attract people if we had an app that was more user friendly?

@JoshRollins @Jerrik I don't have any idea about either, unfortunately. I've played around with notification settings because for a while I was getting a sound even when my phone was on silent. But that doesn't happen anymore thankfully. I only get notified when people tag my name or favorite a post.

Show older
Mastodon

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!